What do you do when you’ve outlived your friends & your few remaining enemies can’t remember their own name, much less yours?
I got a dog.
My Mom, being brighter than I, at 86 years old, bought and talked, herself into an assisted living facility. And quickly started making new enemies. She’s now 91, funny as hell-o, and likes nothing better than using her acerbic wit to mess with everyone’s head.
Because she seems so sweet, almost angelic, she mostly gets away with it.
Before you judge too harshly, she doesn’t pick on the infirm, or those who aren’t in her league intellectually. She focuses her best work on nurses, doctors and of course, her six children.
Mom swears she can’t hear, can’t see and can’t eat anything worth eating. (cornbread in a glass of buttermilk, is still her favorite food.) I do know she’s well fed, though she does have digestive issues.
Yet, she can hear anything whispered about her. And will make you pay for it. She can also see well enough to spot a fly on the wall. Literally.
Admittedly, she has the narrowest of mean streaks in her.
Last year she threw a glass of water into the face of a nurse who Mom said called her a liar. Big SNAFU. It took some real wrangling to get her out of that one. Thank you Sister Sue 🙂 The nurse insisted she’d said Mom was wrong, not a liar.
At the end of the day, turned out Mom was, as usual, not wrong… ( I have trouble saying she was right…Is it in our dna? I wonder…)
Then there was an episode where Mom took her cane to an amorous gentleman to fend off his unwanted advances. Again, evidence, and future events, proved Mom was,
right uh, not wrong.
In an attempt to not beat on a dead mule, I won’t go into the assorted pokings, and proddings, she’s done with her walker. Or, about her 45 pound cat who enjoys attacking innocent bystanders. I guess pets do take on the master’s personality?
Is she just a mean old woman?
Hell No! I think she’s found her unique way to keep her mind sharp, defend her dignity and have a few giggles on the mean time. She’s also the funniest person I’ve ever met, and I’m way proud of her…
Ideas for me, your aging related story, or comments are very damn welcome…