After enjoying 4 months of the best sleep in memory, I’ve rejoined the masses of sleep deprived, zombie-eyed creatures stumbling and careening through their lives in 21st century America.
As I write this, I’m so stinking sleepy that I could literally cry.
Don’t worry, I’m not the crying sort.
And, usually, not the ‘whining sort’.
I am, however, the ‘fix-it’ or ‘accept-it’ sort.
Keeping in mind that ‘facts’ found online, are usually just close proximities, I’ve been scouring (again) the Internet for current ideas about how to get a decent night’s sleep.
So far, I’ve not found anything new. For example, do a Google search on the phrase ‘how to get a good night sleep’.
Since I’ve already done it, don’t bother.
The 1st thing Google offers up is a 30 month old article from the Mayo Clinic’s website. A reliable and venerable source.
Yet, their sleeping advice reads like it might’ve been written by Benjamin Franklin and published in an issue of his famous Little Richard’s Almanac…
i.e. Generic tips that haven’t worked for me:
- Stick to a sleep schedule
- Pay attention to what you eat and drink
- Create a bedtime ritual
- Get comfortable
- Limit daytime naps
- Include physical activity in your daily routine
- Manage stress
These ideas are fine for people who’re generally decent sleepers. They’d also be excellent advice for preventing constipation, or maintaining a healthy weight.
In other words, they’re just too generic to help me end my tiresome nights.
How generic are they?
Well, in 2011, the CBS News website, published nearly identical tips for getting a good night’s sleep.
Their to turn off electronic ‘devices’, an hour before bedtime., is the only exception.
Oh yeah, they also, rather snidely I thought, suggested we not go to bed until we’re sleepy…
While sticking to the ‘rule’ of rising on the same time each day.
Getting nowhere, I changed my search parameters to only return information published in the last 24 hours. Google Search then brought back a page of different publications all touting a version of the headline: ‘Women Prefer A Book To Sex For A Good Night’s Sleep’.
Once you’re gettin’ it regular, who the hell wouldn’t?
I mean, after a love session, you’ve gotta get up, take a shower, rub on some mineral oil, towel off, go pee, get back in bed, then think ‘oh crap, what’d I do with my book – any way you look at it, that’s not helping me go to sleep…
One site did stand out because they offered to tell you How To Sleep On Your Hairstyle And Have It Survive Until Morning
If there’s one thing I’ve got a lock on, it’s that one!
After shifting through content found when I used different search parameters, I did find one helpful idea for going back to sleep that I’m planning to try:
Make relaxation your goal, not sleep.
If you find it hard to fall back asleep, try a relaxation technique such as visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation, which can be done without even getting out of bed…”
I did enjoy reading 5 Myths About Sleep And Ageing Debunked. But then, you already know my proclivity for that kinda stuff.
Out of the ordinary, was a post by Candace Osmond, The Many Different Ways Technology Affects Sleep.
I found value in her post, and not only because she uses ‘affects’ properly in the title…
Technology can, and does affect our sleep.
Candace’s post takes on things like video games, Wi-Fi signals, electromagnetic waves, screen lights, white noise and such.
And, you can read it too, when you click on the following blue link: Candace Osmond
Conclusion: Basically, I discovered that credible online information about how to get a good night’s sleep, doesn’t vary much from source to source.
Because I think ‘insomnia’ too broad a definition for my dilemma, I didn’t bother with that train wreck of over 80 specific sleep disorders the medical field have identified.
After all this, I remain so sleepy, that if I actually thought crying myself to sleep would work, I’d be tempted to give it a shot…
Leave you with a favorite song from my younger days:
Talk to you next time. Until then,